Posted by Armand on May 20, 2000 at 10:01:14:
In Reply to: Re: MOTOR OIL posted by Witch Doctor on May 20, 2000 at 04:11:27:
Yeah, now this is what I discovered about sythetic oil:
>Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your
>beloved
>motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can
>put
>it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode,
>dumping
>debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every
>part
>of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain
>dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to
>retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not
>all...
>
>Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will
>Also
>splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex
>of
>a
>turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats Your
>sight
>window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive
>that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will
>completely leak onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and
>die.
>
>Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It
>will
>give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers
>on
>and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline
>causing
>your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near
>police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It
>will
>lubricate four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your
>valves
>to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes
>the
>clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of
>your
>riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting.
>
>While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your
>handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your
>windscreen
>with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack,
>your
>studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty
>by
>changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your
>wetclutch
>and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail
>in
>the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an
>angry
>wasp in your helmet for good measure.
>
>Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your
>earplugs.
>Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink
>two
>sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole your neutral and sold
>it
>to
>the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil will make you grow a tail.
>Synthetic
>oil will write long crazy e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign
>your name at the bottom!